True to form, rather than getting my shit together I have opted to download music and figure out my outfits for the weekend (since most of my shit is going to be boxed up), and oh yeah write a blog. At least I am consistent in my issues with procrastination. Last nights dinner at Torro Bravo for the birthday boy was oh so good. I did however end up with a nasty bruise on my ankle and sadly just hit the same spot as I made a mad dash for my ringing phone- the call was NOT worth the pain I'm in now.
Ouch. Ouch.
Moving on. Tomorrow night will be my first night in the new place, should be interesting. I'm not going to have internet for a few days which is going to be haarrddd, but at least I have my music and plenty of boxes to unpack.
So I graduated like two months ago and I expected to feel all of this change and grandeur and lotty da but all I felt was angst and resentment. I felt like I had no direction and everything I thought I had wanted didn't seem right anymore and it really pissed me off. Thats not what was supposed to happen, or so I thought. Now I feel all the goody gumdrops of change. I'm moving out, in, and on with my life. Things are supposed to happen when you are ready for them, and right now I am ready for a lot of the change that is taking place. I just don't have the heart for some people/things anymore and I'm FUCKING FINALLY at a place where I can do away with it all. I can physically feel the difference. Its soo good.
Yesterday I went running on wildwood trail in the pouring rain with Jam and it was so freeing. I can't even begin to describe the euphoria I got from splashing mud everywhere with each step and just fucking pushing myself through the pain and moments of weakness. Its like I can breathe deeper because of it. I feel so good! I can't wait until we go again, rain or shine. Running on a trail in the hills does so much more for me than running in the city ever did. You are just there experiencing a part of life that you forget exsists.
ok-ok no more gushing I have to get ready for work and then after that I'm off to see the Lonely H.

keeping my faith

I love when you find an album and every song on it touches you as if the words in the songs were your own. I'm currently obsessed with The Sounds, Dying To Tell You album and any chance I can listen to it I do.
Anyway. I found a place! So excited. Rach and I are going to be moving in on the 15th and then Jon will move in after fire season. I'm so excited - can't wait to have summer BBQs and just be closer to everyone. It's interesting to see how life unfolds when you let go of the steering wheel. There are people in my life who shake their heads at how I live. They don't understand the decisions that I make, the people I make them with, or the paths that I take. For awhile, whether they know it or not, I would let their comments sink in - and I would actually feel bad. I felt like I had to justify my behaviors, my choices in life and right now I can't believe that I ever did that. Recent events have lead me to realize that I really love where I am. I've said it time and time again, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and whats meant to be will be. I do things at my pace, when things feel right for me, and that can't be dictated by anyone else. I know when to push and I know when to stand down. I've made mistakes in my life before but I don't regret any of them. I am who I am for a reason, and I've gotten this far because of ME - not because I followed another persons plan. Basically what I am saying is that I believe in myself and I know that I will be able to achieve what I set out to do. I'm not going to loose my faith because when I look around at what I've created for myself and what I am setting out to do, I can't help but be excited.