falling

Yesterday after a much needed family melt down I decided that I really needed to escape from the war zone. I haven't moved my car since saturday, so needless to say it was basically a giant ice cube on wheels and digging it out was no easy task. I started by trying to get all of the snow off with a broom, it worked in some areas but as I was doing this it started snowing again and I quickly realized it was pointless. Once I cleared all of the windows, I soon saw that there was a huge sheet of ice on my windshield and there was no way in hell I was going to be able to escape unless I was able to melt that off. Sooooo me being the smart girl that I am I decided to stand on top of my car and pour water on the windows to make the ice melt. It was working but then I a little incident happened. I guess I should have started this story off by saying that I was talking on my phone while attempting this large task, so basically I was doing everything with one hand. Anyways, here I am phone in one hand, water bottle in the other, standing on top of my car and I fucking slip. What a glorious fall it was too! I slipped off of my car and slammed my head on the side of it while keeping my phone in my hand and continuing the conversation as best I could. It hurt so fucking bad!! I still have a headache and I nervously asked my sister/bf whether or not I was going to die in my sleep because I'm pretty sure I had a concussion : ( Sad times. I'm so glad that its not going to be Christmas tomorrow. My mother has decided that the family doesn't get to do christmas until we can all be together because my brother wasn't able to make it home. I'm not even going to get started on how that makes me feel - I'm just glad that my other family, the family that I've made for myself is here and I can be with them and love them. As I get older I am realizing that while I love my family and I always will, we will never be the family that we once were and its time that everyone started acting accordingly.

A collection of morning thoughts

Good morning, and welcome to everything I was thinking when I woke up this morning.

1. I'm finding it really hard to believe that I'm graduating next term. I sort of need a smack in the face because I know its going to be one of those things that I probably won't believe until its all over. Maybe I'm just in disbelief because its so far away still.

2. Why do you sleep better when your bed is made and orderly, and why do I make a nest with the 5 pillows on my bed in my sleep?

3. Can I drag lynds out of bed to go get the best huevos in town?

4. Why didn't the puppy jump on my bed this morning : (


Ok, onwards with the normal blog. I went to work early yesterday and decided to pop all of the wax out of the votives, which is a tedious little biatch of a job. Anyways as I was struggling with a knife in one hand and the glass votive in the other some random guy came in and decided to croon at me. Obviously I was at work so I was looking all sorts of classy with my LBD and this guy was like "why is such a beautiful girl doing such a cinderella job" and just went on and on about how I should come work for him because he's a lawyer and would never make me do such things. Anyways this guy was just non-stop and all I could do was smile and nod like a kept little pet and pretend that I was just soooo flattered that he thought "my prince charming would come and sweep me off my feet, take me to Vegas, and let me spend all of his money" HAHAHAHAH omg it was unreal.
I mean really, do guys really think that shit works? Number one I don't look like the kind of girl who would be impressed by the prince and all of his money scenario, and number two just because you find me attractive and think that I look awesome in my dress does not give you the right to sit there and try and scheme on me. I'm at work for fuck sake. Does that not mean anything to anyone. It just gets really old dealing with stuff like that. I have a brain too ya know, and in fact I think it might be safe to say that I can hold a real conversation that doesn't involve my appearance.
Anyways after listening to this guy for a bit and watching him watch my every move the knife slipped and I shattered a votive in my hand. ppppppeeeeeerrrrfffeeeeect. Needless to say my night was stellar. But then after weeks of me asking, Andrew finally got Kings of Leon and I was sooo happy and rocked the night away.

listen to what i'm not saying

Sometimes I find that I am being held back. Other people aren't standing in my way, I'm doing it. I'm scared of what comes next. Why is it so hard to just let go? I can't even write down the words that are sitting on the tip of my tongue. I don't want to look back at this and shake my head with regret. I want to turn myself inside out so everything is exposed and I won't have to try anymore.
When I think about it my heart starts to beat harder and my breath gets shallow. Its a big decision and I want to make it.
Friday night chewed me up and spit me out. In the beginning it was wonderful. There is nothing like dancing the night away with a group of mad stylish & beautiful girls. The lights were blurry, the drinks were perfect, the music was so throwback (oh snap) and everything was awesome...... eerrrrrr (sound of record scratching)
... awesome until everything turned SKETCHY!
Details will not follow.